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Holy, hot d-d-damn! This musical article known as Double Loser (possibly a sex toy?) by Daddy Issues turns me on so much that I actually have an unnerving difficulty writing about it. These four women aren't afraid to put it out there; as if to say, "carnal cravings, ahoy!" To write it bluntly, this is music by which to masturbate.
Three of the four tunes here are genital driven. Each is sung so sweetly and sultrily, my mind didn't need much else to complete a legitimately satisfying fantasy. I mean, "I get my baby so hard, and he's fifteen miles away"? Forget fifteen miles; Double Loser will definitely harden dudes worldwide!
There's nothing not to love here. 'Sex On The Beach' is a goofy tune about making it with some sort of merman. 'So Hard' is about foreplay. 'Let's Go To The Mall' is about adolescents causing all sorts of mischief. 'Lethal Dose' is about a lover that won't quit. The guitar is clean and precise. The drumming is light and tight. The bass action, particularly on 'Let's Go To The Mall' and 'Lethal Dose' is quite impressive.
I now want to move to or at least visit Greensboro, NC. These women compare favorably to Beyonce in terms of sizzle factor. The West Coast loves y'all, Daddy Issues! Bring all your boudoir banter out here sometime!
Listen/Salivate Over/Buy Here
The Verdict: 4 Engorged Bedpans
Diet Cig hail from New Paltz, NY, which is basically quaint Gilmore Girls country. Therefor it's mandated that Over Easy's cover art be hand-sewn and Alex Luciano sound like an eager 7 year-old when she sings.
It's all very twee until we hear the words "Blow your nose. Take a shit." ('Pool Boyz'), "Fuck all your romance." ('Scene Sick'), "I hate everybody here." ('Cardboard'), and "Fuck your ivy league sweater." ('Harvard'). Alex even apologizes for New Paltz's shortcomings.
So the lyrics suggest not-so-twee but these are juxtaposed to the cover art. I guess it all adds up to "Fuck your labels, you fucking lazy journalist assholes". The album is called "Over Easy" but there's much "Hard Boiled" here to consider. I mean, the center of that embroidered egg creation that graces the cover could easily be seen as a sphincter...
Alex is a talented vocalist despite sounding much younger than I'm sure she is. Over Easy's music is very straight forward and any average singer would pair it with m.o.r. melodies. but her vocals navigate familiar terrain in clever, unexpected ways.
Hey, Everybody; Alex is a little lonely in her new apartment. There's an open invitation to watch The Simpsons with her on the floor. If she ventures out from said apartment, she'd like to go swimming and maybe dance a bit. If anyone is fortunate enough to visit her, she asks that they please refrain from talking "about your band". Simple enough? Why would anyone want to skip out on such an easy-going girl for a nightmare like Harvard?
Listen/Buy Here
The Verdict: 3 Bedpans
The Strange Land are here to sack, pillage, and ride off into the night with our unfounded sense of security. Our residences and head spaces aren't as familiar as we've been lead to believe. The Strange Land are here to give us a glimpse of reality. It's never clear-cut, y'all. The postmen deliver our mail only during the day. Who knows what those savages may indulge in after hours? Though our psyches have been shaken by this new menace of unspoiled territory, The Strange Land would also like for us to remember that our trips are set to a steady beat to which the bravest of us can surely dance.
Listen/Buy Here
The Verdict: 3 Bedpans
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